WTW002: 6 Questions to Help Pair You With a Sex Toy or Product
"What should I get?" The most common question...I wish it was a one-fit answer to give that would save us all the hassle
Hey Friend,
In today's Welcome to the World episode, we'll review 6 questions to help pair you with a sex toy or product from the shop. Pairing women and couples with sexy products is one of my superpowers as a sexual wellness professional. Assembling my display table full of penises, pussies, and other sexy products at public events is my specialty and has always brought curious minds right to me. A common question I get is, "What should I get? You have everything on this table!" I wish it was a one-fit answer to give that would save us all the hassle. However, without context, I'd suggest what I like, which isn't always what you'd like. Through countless conversations and borderline interrogations, 6 specific questions give me enough insight into a person to suggest something. Then, I can look through my collection and pick out suitable products. I've selected these six questions because I've found that they get us right to the juicy information that matters. I'll tell you the question, but you'll have to stick around for details on using them.
The 6 Questions I ask to help pair women and couples with sex toys.
1: Do you prefer receiving head or getting strokes?
2: What parts of your body do you enjoy being touched?
3: Is this for you, or will you be sharing it?
4: Do you masturbate?
5: Why do you want a toy in the first place?
6: Do you have any sensitivities?
Now that you have the questions let's get into it...
Talking about relationships and bedroom performance started for me with people in my everyday life. I enjoy talking to people, listening, and learning about their desires, frustrations, and curiosities. Whenever I'd go out to have drinks with friends, somehow, a random person would spark up a convo about sex, and I'd give a stranger kinky advice. The first time it was funny; my sister and I thought it was random. After the 4 & 5th times, she insisted I didn't talk to people so we could enjoy a night out without me giving out a free therapy session, lol.
All these late-night conversations in social environments helped me form; critical question asking skills, the ability to create safe spaces in public, and comfortability with speaking to strangers about intimate topics.
My friends would start tuning in and using the advice in their relationships and report the benefits. Naturally, they shared their experiences and recommended people to call me for sex education and relationship advice. With each conversation, I noticed commonalities in what people wanted and how people responded to my deeper questioning. When I indirectly asked a question, they would give me generic answers; when I asked a direct, blunt question, they'd answer straightforwardly. As my conversation spaces expanded and changed from bars and lounges to event spaces and homes, in those settings, I was able to narrow down my questions and tailor them to the topic. When the subject was toys, my success rate was sometimes seen in real-time at swingers' parties. Seeing someone cum was a definite way thumbs up this one worked aside from them cum back to get more suggestions.
I crossed paths with a woman we'll call Sally, who I met at a swingers event. If you aren't familiar, swingers parties, events, and hotel takeovers are environments that welcome singles and couples to enjoy group sex, and partner swapping or simply enjoying the show of sexual acts. I was invited to host icebreaker games and to provide any extra goodies attendees may want to indulge in. Sally came to the table to kill time before the festivities started, her partner was set on getting her something to play with at home. She was open to the idea of toys but had never used one. Unfamiliar with most of the devices on the table, Sally asked the infamous question,
"What would you suggest? You have all this stuff on the table." So I embarked on my get-to-know-you pairing questions. It went something like the following.
Me: I know you haven't played with toys before, so I'll need to see a couple of things about you to better pick out some options based on your liking. Do you prefer head or getting strokes?
Sally: Both, I need both!
Me: Haha, I know the feeling, but there was one that came to mind first; which one wins by 1%
Sally: uhh, okay, head.
Me: Okay, cool…Where do you like to be touched, and how?
Sally: *Gives me a funny look* All over, that's why I'm at a swingers party.
I left it at that because the look she gave me let me know she was ready to walk away from the table, and go get a drink. I didn't want her to lose faith in the process. so moved foward
Me: Will you both use the toy tonight while you play or is this one just for you, Sally?
Sally:
hmm, show me stuff for me, I guess, but they can watch, and he can use it on me
Me: Okay, the people will get some entertainment with y'all…do you like to masturbate at home?
Sally: Nah, not really. I like to have sex.
Me: okay, nothing wrong with getting your strokes in. Do you have any allergies or sensitivity?
Sally: Nah
I had enough information, the timing was perfect because Sally's hands were exploring the table and had gravitated to one of the three toys I planned to recommend.
The three I chose for her were
The Take Me There Thruster made my list because she had never used toys before but was sexually active. This product, when activated, moves up and down and has the tip shape of a penis. It's important to know that often, we are comfortable with someone else in us but may not have considered the work that goes into getting strokes or stroking ourselves. The functionalities of this product take some of the work out of playing with this device because it will thrust, meaning it'll go in and out of her while vibrating without her doing any dramatic movements. The shape was lengthy with details and a remote so she could easily change positions, squatting over it, backing up onto it, or lying on her back and enjoying it.
Next on the list, I recommended the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman because it is powerful and has a long handle that is easy for them to move around her body. The vibration is bold and rhythmic, so she will experience stimulation that isn't just a constant flow of vibration at one pace all the time. The device comes with variety to match the mood she may be in.
The Satisfyer G
spot stimulator was the last one I had suggested, but at the top of the list because it offers both clitoral and penetrative stimulation. This would give her the best of both worlds. She said she enjoys getting head and strokes, so this balance would be perfect. She had never used a toy before; this one was simple to get started. This device had an impressive air pulse clit stimulator that would offer a sucking sensation, and the g-spot, aka the penetrative stimulator, was of the same power and rhythm patterns as the Satifyer Wander Woman giving her that power and variety internally.
After explaining these fun facts as they related to her/them and connecting each device to the information she had provided, she was very excited about them. She saw how each would offer a different experience but fulfill her in a way she'd like. Sally decided to play with the Satisfyer G spot stimulator, and her mr insisted on the wand because he saw the duality of the device. The Satisfyer G Spot Stimulator checked off the boxes that she cared about. It was perfect for just her; it had enough power to stimulate her, made for a great teammate while putting on a show, and was soft, sleek, and pretty.
Our conversation wasn't long, but it was impactful; she answered the question that mattered to lead me in the direction of the device that she ended up going home with. Here's how I used each question to select the suggestions
1: Do you prefer receiving head or getting strokes? - She liked a little bit of both but preferred head or oral sex; this meant that a device with double penetration would be impactful. Also, the device should have a stimulator that offers that oral feeling.
2: What parts of your body do you enjoy being touched? All over was her answer, so it let me know that something that can be moved about the body would be exciting, also something powerful because she's a swinger and enjoys a lot of stimulation
3: Is this for you, or will you be sharing it? She was unsure about this question but did entertain the idea of someone using it on her, so something with a handle, but that wasn't the most crucial factor. Instead, focusing on a device that catered to her body should take priority.
4: Do you masturbate? She didn't; selecting a device that she could explore with would be more impactful than one that was cute or large and in charge. A toy that she would be comfortable putting in or on her needs to be considered
5: Why do you want a toy in the first place? The gentleman brought her to the table, so I didn't have to ask that question. I knew that she would have gotten a device either way because he was generous and wanted to show her something new.
6: Do you have any sensitivities? Sally said no, so the device wasn't limited based on the material or style.
Answering these questions will help you get going when you're ready to buy a new sex toy. Are you able to see how picking a product has more to do with what you enjoy and do right now than it does anything else?
It will take time for you to analyze your answers to the 6 questions the way I have simply because I have spent hours exploring the many devices that exist and the variation of them. Below, I've explained how you can use these questions to help you pair with products or categories if you're a V owner based on the products and categories in this shop.
1: Do you prefer receiving head or getting strokes?
The answer will give you an idea if your device should be in or on you. As well as let you know the type of functions to look for in a toy.
Head = Clit Stimulators
Strokes = Penetration Style Devices, Dildo or Butt Plug
Both = Rabbits, Dual Stimulators
Sucking = Air Pulse
Licking = Fluttering Tongue
Poking = Thrusters
Textured = "lifelike," "realistic," "detailed."
Wet
= Lubricant
2: What parts of your body do you enjoy being touched and how?
The answer to this question will help you know what part of the body to stimulate. Alternatively, it'll expose other areas you can stimulate to enhance the feelings on the part of the body you enjoy.
For example, if you enjoy fingering yourself A finger sleeve is a device to help enhance that feeling; it covers your finger and adds vibration. A device that will stimulate someplace else is a butt plug; this will create new stimulation and enhance the good feelings of fingering.
3: Is this for you, or will you be sharing it?
This answer guides you to the category that will serve you, or you all. You'll notice as you build your collection most devices stimulate all bodies.
When shopping for you, precisely explore the categories that speak to the body and part, V's, Clit, G-Spot, butts, etc. That way, the device will cater to your body precisely in the design.
When shopping for more than you have in mind, you can still explore by body style; however, you'll find more options in specialty categories and device styles. Categories like: bundles, couples, oral essentials, etc
4: Do you masturbate?
This question is vital for being honest with yourself, yes, no, or not so often. Masturbation gives you an idea of your comfort level with touching yourself, putting things inside yourself, and doing the work to make yourself climax.
When you masturbate already, you're more comfortable than if you don't.
5: Why do you want a toy in the first place?
This answer will let you know how frequently you'll use the toy and the type of investment into a quality device you should make. Toys can be seasonal or a tool to take your masturbation/sex to a new place; both are okay. Knowing what you want to get from the experience while shopping is more fulfilling than having a revelation after that says you should have made a different decision.
6: Do you have any sensitivities?
A rash after you've had the best orgasm in years is crazy. Please! Please! Please! Make sure you get a device that is body-safe. If you know your parts are sensitive, read about the materials or ingredients first.
Glass/Crystals, metal, and silicone devices are all body safe. Regarding liquids, vegan is the way, and more products than ever are made with natural ingredients.
Each question you ask yourself and answer will bring you closer to the device you desire. Although one question may outweigh the next, using all 6 questions will help narrow the search and highlight the toy for you. Hundreds of devices are available to satisfy your specific desires; it's up to you to identify what you like and want to feel.
I highly recommend that when considering anything that has to do with sex and products, you use your current desires as a compass to send you in the direction you'd like to go. Beyond these 6 questions, consider the following.
Do you enjoy rough or soft sensations?
How comfortable are you penetrating yourself?
Does friction ignite you?
Will too much moisture over-stimulate you?
Will your environment affect how engaged you'll be or how you'll enjoy masturbating?
Do you need more than one sensation to climax?
Thank you for coming to this week's Welcome to the World! In our resource sections, you'll find free quizzes and fun stuff to help you identify kinks and desires you may have if you're still learning about yourself.
I hope these questions help you pair with a product of your pleasing
I'm here to help if you need suggestions. Please email me your answers with the subject "WTW002 Answers."
W/ Love
Moe
